Of all the people I know, there is a woman who seems to hold a grudge towards me. And after all my 17 years, this is the only one I know who is grudging towards me.
And that hateful woman is my host in the homestay I am staying at. Whoa, she’s really acting like a bitch. The last time, I complained to the homestay provider because she’s not helping anything with my problems even though I asked few times. So shouldn’t it be normal if I turned to ask help from the homestay provider?
Then, she went home that day I complained, straightened everything out. All I said was OK, actually she sounded absurd and I wasn’t even given chance to defend myself. Alright, I let it go, and it became seeds of hatred towards that person. That night, she gave me a towel, and asked me to wet it and put it on my forehead to cool myself down of the heat. I didn’t use it at all, it was so dirty! There was like faded stains on it, and it smelled really heavy, like a cloth which hasn’t been washed for ages. I was wondering why did she got so friendly terms with me suddenly, and I think maybe she thought I understood everything already and thus, she was back to her normal attitude.
The next day was Lunar New Year’s Eve, and she let me stay in my cousin’s place for a night, even though it wasn’t allowed, and we kept it little secret just both of us. No one says anything, it’ll be fine.
And that particular New Year’s Eve, my agent Lila said that she contacted the homestay about my move to a new place, and hidden fact that we will not be using the same provider from my current provider. Then the thing was like, the homestay provider asked my host if I wanted to move, and she said no. And I told my agent that I am POSITIVE of moving away and maybe she told the homestay and the homestay told my host.
It was my choice after all, whether I wanted to stay at her place or etc. The day I got back, she went home and cooked dinner for me and called, ‘Dinner.’ like that and went out again. Then I remember why she went out; she had OT and she told me before, but I thought her OT was Saturday. She said Thursday like Saturday, no wonder I got it wrong. Usually she would ask, even from downstairs, like how was my day, and obviously she knew that I am celebrating Chinese New Year, but she said nothing about it even though she looked enthusiastic when I departed to my cousin’s from her home. And from that on, I got a queer feeling of her hostility towards me. I mean, I had premonition. I didn’t see her at all until night at almost ten, she came home, with her daughter, I have not slightest idea where her daughter had gone to.
The next day, I have my orientation. I woke up and went down for breakfast after I was all done and she was still there. And she didn’t even ask me a bit about my stay at my cousin’s and when I came down she was near the stairs doing her sunglasses which seems to be broken. I said hi and she looked up, and I was thinking what she said even up to now, whether it was ‘hi’ too in a very low voice and mouth-not-opened-at-all kind of mouth movement, or she said ‘oh’ in a low voice. And I felt it, her hostility, she looked like she was thinking me as transparent. She was kind of active woman and liked to know things (from her attitude) and to think that she didn’t ask anything about my New Year celebrations? I am not saying that I wanted her attention, or for her to notice, but I was stating the fact she ignored me from that. And there was a plate of bread; two slices on it, and I thought it was hers, so I opened the fridge and saw a loaf of bread, but it was a loaf from the ones on the plate, and it hasn’t been sliced. And so, I immediately know that that one on the table was mine, because she must knew I couldn’t cut it, I don’t know which knife to use. Judging from her usual way of doing things, she would leave the knife and the loaf of bread on the cutting table, and left the house. But it was not like that. Everyhting was neat, not really neat but neat for her. Usually plastics will be on the kitchen cabinet, and some utensils would be laying on the table, used or unused. This is put away all of them, nicely even though the kitchen still has spider webs on its every corner. I smell something amiss. I took the bread from the table, then I thought I should ask her if that was mine, and I called her, but it turned out she has gone.
I got everything understood immediately. Like a strike of lighting piercing my mind. She was angry or not happy about something. I didn’t do anything, I didn’t even meet her yet since I came back and only just now. She should have told me about the breakfast she left in the kitchen. But she didn’t and she stormed out like that, even I didn’t know. She didn’t even say morning.
And I traced my brain; I found it. The things I said to my agent yesterday about moving. She must have known about it as well, but why would she get unhappy? Then I remembered. I was asked to send photos of my room to the agent, and I also sent some pics of the spider-web-covered kitchen as well. Probably she was told that I sent the photos, that’s why she’s not happy that I took photos of her house so freely? And why the hell did my agent told them anyway?
I sent email to my agent and asked them about it, but the reply hasn’t come. I guess I had to wait till tomorrow, but I really wish to know. Just now, I just had dinner. And same, she called, ‘Dinner’ like that and I went down bringing my timetable along because I remembered she said she wanted to know my timetable to have her German lessons. And I told her I will tell her after my orientation, and there is no way she would forget my orientation, and even her daughter asked me on the dining table. But she didn’t show any signs of wanting to talk with me, and avoiding her eye contact with me and didn’t even ask my schedule.
I am very stubborn person. If someone won’t talk to me or usually ‘didn’t talk’ to me, I will ignore them as well. I wouldn’t care about that, but the hostility I felt is one problem. I felt like I was in a emotion war, and who can hold out the longest, he wins. I hate it.
Well, I think, why should I be afraid of her? Why should I feel heart-stricken? Damn it, I don’t even have any connections to her, and she is the one who made my life hell since I came back. If I got a choice, I wouldn’t even move away from my previous homestay, I wouldn’t even fork out the replacement fee for that, I wouldn’t even have to sprain my left wrist for carrying all the luggage myself with her sitting and doing her own work, completely ignoring me who was so troubled in carrying my luggage inside the house when it’s raining, and carrying them upstairs. I wouldn’t even want that all.
I am really pissed, that’s it. i just really want to reply back to her and want her to understand, but she won’t understand. I really feel like kicking and hitting her, too bad this is not my turf, and I can’t do as I please in Australia. I remember all the people I have met, who pissed me like this as well, were finished by me. But I couldn’t do anything here, just nod my head and accept everything, it was absurd and sickening.
I hope everything will be fine onwards. I just need to bear it for... 20 days starting today. 2 weeks and half and I will move away, I hope I can move on the date where it was supposed to be, I don’t want something like, ‘you need 4 weeks to process the move’ and bla bla. I really hope everything will be alright. Dear Almighty God, hello? Please help. Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment